I thought about naming this post “The Pros and Cons of dating apps”… but I could only come up with 2 pros. So lets get those out of the way. 1. You meet people you’d less likely meet otherwise. 2. You can run into old flames (which can also be a con).
Ok now that the obligatory glass-half-full part is out of the way. Let’s delve into this installment of Single Girls Chronicle: 10 Reasons I hate dating apps…
1. MOST GUYS ARE ONLY THERE TO HOOK UP: I actually have more respect for the ones who will admit it. Others may use code words are “I’m just looking for friends… I’m only in town for the weekend… or “I’m not looking for anything serious” Then there’s the ever popular “Looking for some fun”. Sounds horrible right? Well it’s a lot better than the guys who pretend to want something long term only to ask for risque pictures right away. Ew!
2. THE DECK OF CARDS SYNDROME: There are so many options on these sites. We (yes women are guilty of this as well) find ourselves swiping to the next best thing. It’s like a weird card game. Some of the apps even say “Keep Playing” after you match with someone. Really?! One of my good male friends recently fessed up. He and a lot of his friends will get on these dating apps because they’re bored. It’s more of a game or something to pass the time while they’re waiting at the DMV, Drs office or worse… for the girl they REALLY like to call. Which brings me to reason #3.
3. UNAVAILABLE MEN: There are some bold men out there who will create profiles on dating apps. Especially on the newer ones since they’re wives/girlfriends may not have heard of them. But their single friends probably have… Oops.
4. THE ENDLESS MESSAGING: I’m guessing because of reasons 2 and 3 we find a lot of men who will swipe right or initiate contact, only to endlessly send messages and never ask you out on a date. It’s such a waste and how many times can we start a conversation with a stranger. Ugh!
5. MISREPRESENTATION OF LOOKS AND AGE: Lots of women are guilty of this one as well. Posting pictures from years and several pounds ago is just not cool. Be happy, proud and showcase your true self. That way you’ll score someone who likes you just as you are.
As far as age goes… If you look younger than you are that’s a lot better than lying and looking like a slightly tired “21” year old right?
6. SAME SMALL TALK OVER AND OVER: How many times can I tell a new stranger “How my day was”, “Where I’m from” or the dreaded “What I like to do for fun” *rolls eyes.
7. RUNNING INTO PEOPLE I KNOW AND CO WORKERS: Is anyone else bothered by this? I’m not sure I want guys I work with or may even be related to knowing that I’m “Looking to build an empire with a true King”. Yep, that’s what one of my profiles actually said. Eeek!
8. SO MANY YOUNG GUYS: I realize that this is relative. But if you’re in your late 30s, dating a bunch of mid 20 somethings is NOT ideal. Sure it can be an ego stroker but you’ll usually end up paying for half of your dates or feeling bad when the bill comes and they nervously look at it. Plus they are usually the guys who fall into reasons 1 & 2.
Personal side note: I do not have or want children. Most young guys either do or aren’t sure.
9. BAD PICTURES: Fuzzy lenses, horrible angles, awkward poses and don’t even get me started on the headless-shirtless wonders. Sometimes I want to message them just to give photo advice. Would that be mean?
10. MOST APPS AREN’T FOR BLACK WOMEN: Of course there’s Black People Meet and Soul Swipe. But if you’re open to dating other races those other apps may be a huge waste of time. Perhaps its because I live in the south but most of the good looking non black men just aren’t checking for us sisters. Or worse, they just want to fulfill some ebony fantasy. NO thanks.
So there you have it my cautionary tales for single women. Of course we can’t deny the fact that couples and even marriages have been formed from dating sites and apps. So if you still want to continue or give a new one a shot, here are the ones I’ve tried. In order of my favorite to lease favorites…