Let me preface this by saying that I am NOT an expert on relationships. I’m actually a hot mess and using me as a guide to navigate your way through the dating world would be a BIG mistake. I have however made just about every mistake you could. So use me as a hilarious cautionary tale. There, now lets get to my recent crisis.
This marks the first installment of Single Girls Chronicle: My “ex” is getting married today. I put the word ex in sarcastic quotes because he never really was my boyfriend. As much as I prayed and tried speaking it into existence, we were never truly a couple. If I’m honest with myself I’d realize he wasn’t right for me. If he were we’d currently be in a non-conventional relationship. You know, where we’d love each other but never live together, never get married and absolutely NEVER have kids. After 2 failed marriages and almost 40 years of life I’ve finally come to the conclusion that this is what I want. But we’ll delve more into that another time.
Its taking everything I have not to continuously check his Instagram or their adorable (*rolls eyes) hashtag for pictures that will only make me spiral and drink whiskey straight from the bottle.
I guess I need to briefly start from the beginning.
I met the groom 6 years ago after ending my first marriage. I went in not wanting anything serious and he felt the same. Yet, sure enough after finishing each other’s sentences on the first date, having SO many things in common, mind blowing “kisses” and sharing the same twisted sense of humor, I stupidly fell in love. He pretended to somewhat reciprocate my feelings but went back to an ex with whom he had years of history.
I cried my eyes out, went on a 3 month man cleanse and moved on. Soon after I met my second husband and cut all times with the groom.
Fast Forward 3 years. My 2nd marriage painfully ended and like magic I received a Facebook message from the groom. He was no longer with his ex but in an on again off again relationship with someone new. I agreed to meet him for lunch and those feelings immediately came flooding back. I tried to fight it remembering how hard getting over him was before but true to form I fell even deeper this time. Virtually begging him (I know ick) to pick me instead of going back to the her. I tried being nice, strong, standoffish, angry and nothing seemed to work. Until something clicked and I thought we were making progress. He’d invited me to a concert with one of his friends and we had an amazing time.
Fast Forward again several months and I just “happened” to google his name. Guess what popped up?… An announcement of his engagement with a wedding date only 7 weeks away!!! Not just that but pictures of the happy smiling couple and her flashing a huge rock. I was infuriated. He apologized immediately and after watching me frantically do the math admitted that he had proposed to her a week… WEEK before our fun night at the concert. I was devastated but knew at the end of the day I only had myself to blame. I knew deep down he was a player and would never fully commit to me.
So here I am. Fighting not to search that hashtag or look at his Social Media. I’m just ready for the weekend to be over. Then I’ll know that what’s done is done and I can get back to my fabulous single life.
Well enough wallowing, enough feeling like I lost out on a “prize”. I know deep down that I dodged a bullet. Who wants to be with someone who takes another girl on a date ONE week after he’s proposed? OH and who still texted said girl less than a month before his wedding day?
Yeah… bullet dodged.
See you guys in the next “Single Girls Chronicle” where I’ll talk about how to spend the holidays single. Until then enjoy my usual fashion posts.
Single Girls Chronicle: My “Ex” is getting married today