With Christmas afterglows still stirring and Valentine’s Day on the horizon, we’re sure to see a slew of brand new engagement rings crowding our Instagram and Facebook feeds. Next will be bridal shower invitations and wedding save the dates.
Of course us single ladies will be ecstatic for our comrades. We’ll toast the union over champagne, smile joyously at bridal showers and plan epic bachelorette parties. However, some will wonder when our rings are coming? When will “he” pop the question?
Well I’m here to ask… Why are we waiting for “him”? Maybe he’s in your life dragging his ice cold feet or you just haven’t met him yet.
Or is your situation more like mine? I’ve been divorced for almost a year and still have moments when my left finger feels light. I was pulling out of my garage the other day and felt like I’d forgotten something. After hitting the brakes and quickly racking my brain, I realized it was “that” ring. It happens out of the blue sometimes. I’m over the man but sometimes miss the rock. Have any other divorcees or women from broken engagements had this experience?
When feeling this way, I like to wear something absurdly large on that finger. I also ALWAYS wear a glamorously modest piece on my right ring finger which has been dubbed the single lady hand!
Do you feel light on your ring finger? Are you wanting him to propose so badly you get excited when he kneels to tie his shoe lace? Or are you dating yourself and just want a token to celebrate that single lady status?
I have the rock for you no matter your space in single hood and they’re ALL under $50!!!
Which will you choose and why?
Single Girls Chronicle: Buy Your Own Ring
Whether you’re newly single or have been going solo for years, this day can be rough.
It can be especially hard for me since my family doesn’t celebrate holidays for religious reasons. I’ve always respected their faith but made the personal choice to partake in holidays years ago.
When in relationships I would spend holidays with “his” family and friends. However this year will be different. With no man in sight and most of my close friends leaving town I should be sad and feeling down right? Wrong!
I’ve had other solo holidays in the past and over the years have come up with 8 ways to stay upbeat and enjoy this time of year to the fullest!
1.) JUST SAY YES
You may find yourself getting last minute invites to friend’s places for the holidays. The strong temptation to resist what feels like a pity call will arise. Go anyway. Don’t see yourself as an after thought. Remember that most people are very busy with buying last minute gifts, stress from inlaws and prepping their homes for visitors. Grab a hostess gift and show up. When you’re asked why you’re not with family or if you’re in a relationship, be honest and upbeat then change the topic if it makes you feel uneasy.
2.) COOK YOUR SPECIALTY FOR SOMEONE IN NEED – In the past I loved cooking a dish and taking it to my ex’s family for Christmas Eve. The smell of my kitchen all warm and festive.
Well there’s no reason you have to skip that this year. Whip up your specialty and fill it in tupperware containers. Grab a few friends and drive around areas frequented by the homeless. Pass out your home cooked meal to those who need it most. I like to hand out at least a dollar to each person if I can.
Not great in the kitchen? Then pick up something yummy and shareable from the store.
3.) GATHER YOUR ISLAND OF MISFIT TOYS
We all know that cute song and video from our childhood. A bunch of misfit and seemingly unwanted toys got together and sang a memorable tune that still strikes cords with a lot of us this time of year. I’m sure if you scroll through your phone you’ll find others in the same or similar situation as you. Maybe they’re newly single and not quite ready to do the family thing solo. Perhaps they’ve spent loads of cash going home for Thanksgiving and now need to stay local and away from relatives. Throw a fun, low pressure party at your place. You could also gather for a non traditional dinner at your favorite local spot.
4.) CELEBRATE YOUR FOREIGN FRIENDS
Most of us are fortunate enough to have friends from all over the world. For example I have close friends with family in Germany, Africa, China, Korea and Vietnam just to name a few. Send out a fun last minute invite for a “Christmas around the World” party. Tell each friend to bring a dish representative of their home land. Make (or buy) one yourself and share with laughs, well wishes and cocktails!
5.) BE AN ELF
Two students from Union Catholic Regional High School started this adorable and much needed organization to make a difference this Christmas. Just reading one of these letters will take your mind off yourself and warm your heart. Fulfill at least one then share the link with a few of your friends.
6.) CLEAN OUT YOUR CLOSET
Get your new year started off right for you and someone else. I like to donate my things to Genesis in Dallas. Proceeds go to a local women’s shelter. It’s also helpful if you’re able to take these directly to shelters in need. Google local clothing drives in your area.
7.) VISIT VETERANS, CHILDREN AND THE ELDERLY
Even if all you can provide is a listening ear. These are people who are often confined for the holidays. Show your appreciation to Veterans, listen to stories from the elderly and bring toys to children, Dress up in a fun and festive costume as an added bonus for the kids!
8.) PUT “LOVE” AT THE TOP OF YOUR RESOLUTIONS LIST
Resolve to do things like this all year! Not just romantic love or even love that is reciprocal. Vow to love those in need. Those who may not be able to give anything in return. Take satisfaction in the fact that they’ll most likely pay it forward.
What unconventional ways are you spending the holidays this year?
Single Girls Chronicle: Solo for the Holidays
Well it’s been almost a month since my Ex got married and I want to thank you all for the amazing support and reception. My finger literally trembled as I hit the publish button on the first installment of Single Girls Chronicle. It was uber personal to share such humiliating realizations on that vulnerable day.
I had been through so much with this guy. Lets take the photo above for instance… This was on a rough day of dealing with his shit. I was shooting with my photographer and had to take a moment to swiftly wipe a tear away.
I had no idea how I would make it through the shoot until suddenly a cheesy but oh so necessary disco song popped into my head… “At first I was afraid, I was petrified”… You all know the rest.
I’m feeling a little better but still have my moments.
They say that getting over a divorce or bad breakup can exhibit the same symptoms as grieving the death of a loved one. So I’ve gathered songs to fit every stage and help you make it from the dark to triumphant times!
1. DENIAL – You haven’t quite excepted that it’s over. You spend all day on the internet searching ways to get him back and though he’s told you it’s over you can still see a future together. You sing these songs as you fall asleep, drive to work or horrifyingly, on his voice mail.
2. ANGER – You haven’t quite blocked his number yet because you wait for him to call just so you can tell him you don’t want to talk to him. You spend most of your free time telling the world how horrible he is and have probably made a dart board riddled with his face! These songs blare as you chunk all of his crap and maybe even sell his most prized possessions for $1 Waiting to Exhale Style
3. BARGAINING – You look to God and other higher powers for reasoning. You’ll find a lot of “if onlys” and “I will do this for thats” in your vocabulary. Anger fades aways and turns into last ditch efforts or dare I say desperation. This is the point in the game where you may leave begging messages or even show up at their bedroom window with your iPhone pointed up playing these heartbreakers.
4. Depression – This is the stage where reality initially sets in. They’re gone and never coming back in the capacity to which you’ve wanted. I’m going to be honest… This is the stage I’m in. You put on a brave smile during the day, only to rush home and crawl into bed. Even if you know it’s for the best, it still hurts and you have to let yourself feel this moment. If you notice yourself slipping and feel darker everyday please seek help. Know you’re not alone and this is nothing to be ashamed of. We’ve all either been there or will at some point. Treat yourself to a day in your favorite pajamas, curl up with a soft blanket and listen to the following tunes…
Maybe I Should Call – K. Michelle
It Must’ve Been Love – Roxette
I Wish I Never Met Her – Carl Thomas
Like the Sea – Alicia Keys
How Could You – K-Ci & JoJo
Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart – Alicia Keys
Somebody Else – Rico Love
Lose to Win – Fantasia
Dancing On My Own – Robyn
5. Acceptance – You wake in the morning with energy. You clean your house, do your laundry, visit friends and catch up on other things you’ve neglected. You feel brand new and the hope of being with your ex not only fades but seems less desirable everyday. I can’t wait to see this stage. Let’s get there together and when we do we’ll put on that pretty dress, slip on the sickest heels and joyously sing along with the following beats!
Music to My Soul – Cee Lo
Happy – Pharrell
I Love Me – Meghan Trainor
Beyonce – Party
The Man – Aloe Black
Titanium – David Guetta & Sia
I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
I’m Coming Out – Diana Ross
Love Myself – Hailee Steinfeld
We Are Young (Jersey Club Remix) – Kyle Edwards & DJ Smallz 732
All the Way Up – Fat Joe, Remy Ma & French Montana
No Problem – Chance the Rapper
Father Stretch My Hands – Kanye West
24K Magic – Bruno Mars
I’d LOVE to hear from you guys. In which stage are you and what’s your favorite break up song to bump?
Single Girls Chronicle: Perfect Break Up Songs