Melody Sours

This is 40

I’m 40! There I said it. I literally said it out loud at midnight today. I’m not sure how long it will take for this to sink in but I DO know that I am fortunate to see another decade. I’m not quite ready to call myself “wise” but being on earth for this long has brought forth many lessons. This is 40 and here are 16 major things I’ve learned along the way…

40 is the new 30

Sissy's Dallas

Party City Balloons

Solace London Dress

Melody Turns 40
Dress: Solace London via Rent the Runway / Shoes: Steve Madden old Similar / Name Bracelet: Atelier Paulin / Earrings: Tory Burch / Lips: MAC Topped with Brandy / Ring and Cuff: Rocksbox
Photography: Marrica Evans

1. You can never truly find happiness without the belief in a higher power. I’ve gone through periods in my life where I questioned faith. Luckily God continued to seek ME out. He’s made his presence loud and clear in so many ways. I could no longer deny Him. I can only show gratitude and continuously pray that I’m forgiven for ever doubting. I’m still on my spiritual journey and it’s incredibly beautiful.

2. It’s better to go through a short time of major discomfort than to suffer slowly. For me this has meant leaving marriages, friendships and even excepting being laid off from the corporate world as a gift.

3. You never know what someone is going through or from where they came. Someones attitude or disposition is not always personal or about you. I have to admit, I’m working hard on this one. I can be quite sensitive and have to check myself.

4. Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Here’s the hardest part… Working towards forgiving those who do not apologize. This does not mean that they get to remain in your life. I simply means you release the pain and the idea that things could or should have been different.

5. It’s ok to love someone from afar. Yes this counts for family members as well. Just try to remain open for their return. Some people need space and tough love to heal.

6. Dieting is unhealthy to your mind, body and soul. A healthy overall lifestyle is key. Throw away your scale. Unless you need it for health reasons.

7. Never let a man come between friendships. All a girlfriend has to do is say she has a crush on a guy and he’s immediately off limits. I don’t play when it comes to this.

8. Choose to trust people until proven wrong. This has been a hard one for me. I’ve had trust issues most of my entire life. This is something I’ve recently learned about myself. I’ve learned to trust and give second chances when they are warranted. This is a lot easier to do if you’re following tip 1.

9. Give back as much as you can. If you can’t afford this monetarily then volunteer your time. It’s one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do. Find a cause or charity that is near and dear to you. This way it will come easily and be something you can do tirelessly.

10. Build an intense, unconditional love for yourself. Start working on this as young as you can. This means no more saying, or even thinking “I’m fat”. No more wasting time on that partner who isn’t exerting the same energy as you. No more “disagreeing” with someone who pays you a compliment. This is often challenging for me as well as many women. You are the only one who will undeniably be with you forever. Make sure she/he knows they’re loved and excepted.

11. If something scares you (within healthy reason of course) do it anyway! Sometimes it may backfire. For example, I was once asked to interview 2 celebrities. This is NOT my strong suit. I wanted to back out but went through with it anyway. I was extremely nervous and one of them was SO rude to me (the other was incredibly sweet) that I’d vowed to never do this again. However, I’m glad I went through with it. Otherwise I would have never learned know that it’s not for me. I’d still love to perform interviews. However it would be in more of a conversational setting. Or perhaps on a round table show like The View or the Real. Just speaking my dream job into existence real quick ;).

12. Take external and internal responsibility for your mistakes. Realize that every falling out or ending of a relationships takes two. It’s never ALL the other person’s fault. Owning up to our part is the only real way we learn and grow from errors. If you can do this, it’s not truly a failure.

13. One person’s success does NOT negate yours. Support the HECK out of your friends and community. If someone seems to excel over you, find out how. Ask how you can be of service instead of “picking” their brain.

14. Never feel you’re too experienced to learn from someone who is younger than you. Assuming they know nothing can block new and fresh perspectives.

15. Give, give, give and THEN ask. I once heard this is the best tool to use when networking or even in sales. I find its also a good rule in life. Try to offer your gifts or how you can be of help to someone verses having your hand out at the beginning.

16.Try not to stress out over aging. Remember that years from now, you’ll look back and say to yourself “Wow I was so young, what was I so worried about”. I promise you.

Whether you’re 40 or 14, what would you add to this list?